Can't Be Without You
by Starchick
Summary: Hi! This is my very first Cardcaptor fic, so please don't be too hard on me, k? It's S+S, and in my opinion, it's a cute story, especially at the end. R&R, please ^_^


Okay, this is my VERY 1st Cardcaptors fic, k? I'm usually more of a Digimon writer. I just   
started watching the show a couple weeks ago, and totally love it. But I don't really know  
a whole lot about it, since they don't show it a lot on the station that I watch it on. From   
what I've seen, it seems like Li really cares about Sakura (and yes, this story is S+S ^~),  
but is afraid to show it, so he's pretty mean to her. At least, that's what I've picked up so   
far, I've only seen the 1st few episodes, so I'm sorry if I got some facts wrong. But that's   
pretty much what this story's based on, so...enjoy! And please tell me if you like it,   
kk? ^_^  
  
  
  
  
  
CAN'T BE WITHOUT YOU  
  
  
  
  
  
I think I've already lost you  
I think you're already gone  
I think I'm finally scared now  
You think I'm weak  
I think you're wrong  
  
  
~If You're Gone- Matchbox 20  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Sakura was walking home from another boring day of school. The difference about today  
was that it was Friday. Yes! Sakura silently cheered.  
She was walking with Madison, who was talking about something Chelsea had told her.  
Sakura was only half paying attention, thinking about 1 certain, dark-haired boy for some  
reason. Lately, she hadn't been able to get him off her mind. He was just...such a   
mystery.  
"And so then, Zachery contradicted Chelsea, which made her mad, and she-" Madison  
paused, catching the preoccupied look on her best friend's face. She looked at her,  
concerned. "Sakura, are you okay? I don't think you heard a thing I said."  
Sakura glanced up at her, then smiled, sweatdropping slightly. "Sorry Madison, I was  
just thinking about someone," she apologized. Madison stared at her curiously. "Who?"  
she wanted to know.  
Sakura glanced ahead somewhere down the street. "Li..." she murmured, trailing off.  
"Li Showrun?" Madison asked. (A/N: Is that how you spell his name? Or is it 'Syaoron'?)  
"Rita said she thought she saw him watching you in class today. Do I sense something  
going on here?" She raised an eyebrow.  
Sakura blinked at her in shock. "What? Madison, you've GOT to be kidding. I don't think  
so. I mean, he's pretty mean to me, even when I try to be nice."  
Madison shook her head. "Oh, he's not mean, you can easily tell he doesn't mean it.  
Besides, he's really helped us out a lot of times," she pointed out.  
Sakura shrugged. "I don't think so," she said again, remembering what had happened  
earlier that day. "This afternoon, I asked him if he wanted to hang out with us and the  
rest of the group after school, and he just said no, in a mean way. He said he had more  
important things to do...it was so wierd, just the way he looked at me. Like I did some-  
thing wrong."  
Madison studied her. "Well, he probably had something to do with Meilin. You know how  
those 2 are," she said.  
"I guess you're right," Sakura murmured, still not convinced. There was something about  
Li Showrun, she just wished she could put her finger on it.  
Madison stared at her best friend, then a slow, knowing smile swept across her face. "I  
definetly sense something going on here."   
  
  
"Okay, seeya Madison," Sakura called, waving to her best friend before slipping into her  
house that evening. She and Madison had been out all afternoon, at the ice cream parlor,  
then at the mall, then finally going to the park for a while before going home.  
Now Sakura dumped her backpack next to the door and raced up to her room. She could  
instantly tell that no one was home, so the coast was clear.  
"Kero! I'm home!" she shouted, glancing around for the small winged teddy bear. She  
spotted him on her bed, his arms crossed.   
"Where have you been?" he wanted to know. Sakura blinked. "I was out with Madison,  
remember I told you I might be late coming home from school, this morning."  
"Talk about understatements of the year," Kero complained. "It's 6:30 pm."  
Sakura looked at him searchingly. "What's going on?" she demanded. "The only time you  
ever act like this is if something is wrong."  
"We got trouble, Sakura," Kero told her. "Li just called."  
Sakura felt a wierd feeling. Strange, it was in her heart area. "Why'd he call?" she asked,  
more than a little curious.   
"He sensed a Clow Card near the park, so he went there to check it out. We should go  
there too," Kero explained.  
Sakura nodded slowly, feeling a little disappointed. "Okay then, let's go," she agreed,  
grabbing her clow key from inside her drawer. "You think I should call Madison? She'll be  
really upset if she misses a chance to catch us on tape."  
Kero sighed. "Normally, I'd agree with you, but right now, there's no time. You've got to  
capture that card, Sakura."  
He raced out the door and through an open window, as Sakura followed him, taking the  
door.   
  
  
They raced down to the park as fast as they could, barely stopping to look both ways  
when crossing major roads. Sakura almost got hit more than once, but they still made  
it to the park in record time.  
"Li! Where are you?" she yelled.   
Suddenly, she sensed something really strongly. Moments later, a multi-coloured blur  
whished by her, creating a colourful arc in its wake.   
"It's the Rainbow Card," Kero cried.  
Li came running into view about a second later, right behind the Clow Card, dressed in his  
green robes. He stopped next to Sakura and glanced at her.  
"It's about time," he muttered. "Took you long enough."  
Sakura frowned, feeling a rush of annoyance. "Will you quit putting me down for a few  
minutes so we can capture this card?" she demanded, finally reaching the end of her  
patience. She ran after the card, Kero flying after her. Li watched her for a moment,  
then ran in her direction as well.   
The card flew toward the kids' playground. Sakura and Li paused a few feet behind it.  
"Okay, I'll go up and slash it with my sword, then you capture it," Li told her.  
"The Rainbow Card is a peaceful card, but it's also really energetic, so maybe you should  
use the Shadow Card to trap it before capturing it," Kero informed her.  
Sakura nodded in determination. "Got it."   
She got into position, as Li ran ahead, quickly climbing a tree. She watched as he jumped  
down, swinging his sword as he slashed the card. It fell to the ground.  
Sakura barely noticed, though, she couldn't stop staring at Li. What's wrong with me?  
she wondered, feeling her face get warm. Am I BLUSHING? she thought in alarm. WHY?  
"Sakura!" Kero shouted, snapping her out of her daze. She tore her eyes away from Li.  
"Sometime this year would be nice," Kero said sternly, gesturing to the Clow Card which  
was starting to get up, despite its injuries.  
"Oh right," said Sakura, pulling out the Shadow Card. Glancing at Li again for a second,   
she saw that he was watching her in annoyance. Feeling flustered, she concentrated  
on what she was doing. She released the Shadow Card.  
"Shadow Card, wind yourself around the Rainbow Card and trap it," she ordered. The  
dark hooded figure whizzed over to the Rainbow Card, wrapping itself tightly around the  
multicoloured figure. Sakura cringed as she saw the Rainbow fall to the ground with a  
thud. No matter how many times it happened, she still felt uncomfortable when a Clow  
Card got hurt.  
"Now capture it!" Kero ordered. Sakura nodded and held up her wand.  
"Rainbow Card, return to your power confined!"  
A card-shaped light formed in front of the wand. The Clow Card got sucked in, and then  
Sakura was holding another Card.  
Li came over. "You okay?" he wanted to know.  
Sakura looked up at him, finding herself gazing right into his deep amber eyes. She froze,  
feeling like she was under some kind of spell. Then after a moment, she pulled herself  
out of it, blinking, then shaking her head slightly.  
"I'm okay," she murmured, feeling slightly dizzy. And it had nothing to do with the Clow  
Card attack. "Thanks for helping me out."  
Li smirked. "Like I have a choice. You're still helpless, you'll get yourself killed."  
Kero glared at him. "Hey kid, you better take that back!" he said angrily.  
Sakura ignored Kero, narrowing her eyes at Li, slightly confused. "Do you always have  
to say something mean to me?" she demanded. "I'm trying to be nice to you, but you   
still put me down every chance you get. It really bugs me, 'cause I don't make you feel  
bad when you do something wrong, which, by the way, happens to be a lot of the time,  
so you're lucky!"  
Li glared at her. "I'm lucky? Right, it's sure is a blast to babysit you every time we go  
card capturing, to make sure you don't get hurt. I still really don't see how YOU became  
a Clow Mistress, you're such an amateur. It's so annoying! Sometimes I-"  
  
  
Li cut off the rest of his sentence, knowing he was really pushing the limit. He knew it  
wasn't really Sakura's fault that she'd opened the Clow book and gotten mixed up in this  
whole thing, and deep down inside, he knew she was trying her best.   
Sakura's eyes widened, and she stared at him, speechless. Then Li started to feel very  
bad when tears welled up in her emerald eyes. He started to say something, but she  
cut him off, her voice really low.  
"So now you finally tell me what you really think of me," she said, her voice so quiet, it  
was just above a whisper. "I didn't know I was holding you back so much. I'm sorry."  
"Sakura-" Kero tried to step in. She glanced at him and shook her head. "No Kero, Li's  
right," she told him. She turned back to Li, the tears spilling over. "I should never have  
opened the Clow book. I'm sorry for that too. I'm sorry for everything." Her voice dropped  
even lower. "Goodbye," she whispered, then turned and ran.  
"Sakura, wait," Li tried to call after her. He wasn't sure she even heard him. She kept   
running, disappearing from view.  
Kero turned to him, eyes blazing. "You creep!" he yelled. "How could you say that to her?"  
"I didn't mean to," Li murmured, still staring in the direction Sakura had run off in. He felt  
awful, he'd never wanted to hurt her that way. "It just slipped out when she started  
yelling at me," he continued.  
Kero threw his little arms up in the air and let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm going after   
her," he said, taking off into the night's darkness, in the direction Sakura had gone.  
  
  
Sakura was just running blindly, as if she were being chased. She wasn't sure where she  
was going, she didn't even think she was going in the direction of her house. All she  
knew was that she was running, as fast as she could with her body shaking with sobs.  
He hates me, she thought, squeezing her eyes shut in pain. I'm annoying and dumb, and  
he doesn't want to be with me, because all I do is bug him....  
She stopped running, gasping to catch her breath, which was twice as hard with the  
tears still choking her. She didn't even pay attention to where she'd stopped.  
And here I was actually fantasizing about him, she thought, torturing herself. I knew he  
was a really nice person inside, and was mean because he isn't comfortable showing his  
feelings. Now I know it was just me. He is a nice person, it's just that he hates me.  
Suddenly, she heard a loud noise, like a type of horn. She opened her eyes and glanced  
up. She didn't have time to register what was happening. All she saw was sudden white,  
so bright it hurt her eyes. Then darkness.  
  
  
Li was walking down the street the next day. To anyone passing by, it would seem that  
he was deep in thought. But he was actually thinking about last night, still feeling the  
guilt from what he'd said. He could still here Sakura's voice, a tortured whisper. "Good-  
bye."  
Li clenched his eyes shut, trying desperately to force away the memory. No such luck.  
It hadn't left him all night, and it wasn't about to go away now.  
He looked up, noticing that he wasn't far from Sakura's house. His first impulse was to  
turn around, but then he got a better idea. He decided to go visit her, so he could   
apologize.  
Then he glanced in front of him, and noticed Madison walking toward him, just a few  
feet ahead. "Hello, Madison," he greeted.  
She stared at him. "Hello, Li," she said coldly. "Where are you going?"  
"I'm going over to see Sakura," Li told her, confused at Madison's behavior.   
"Well, she's not there," Madison replied, and immediately, he knew something was wrong.  
"Where is she?" he wanted to know. Madison's violet-blue eyes flashed at him in anger.  
"She's in the hospital," she told him, her voice icy. Li's eyes went wide with shock and  
fear. Madison went on.  
"Last night, she ran into the middle of a street, I guess she wasn't paying attention. A  
car drove by and...it hit her. Apparently, she tried to jump out of the way on instinct, so  
she's not hurt as badly as she could have been, but she still hasn't woken up. Kero and  
I were just there, I left him there." She stopped. "But then, I don't see why you care.  
According to you, she's an annoying amateur." Her voice went low, similar to Sakura's  
last night. "This is all your fault." The tears glimmered in her eyes. It was clear  
that she already knew everything that had happened last night.  
Li squeezed his eyes closed, turning slightly away, the tears beginning to slide down.  
"I know," he whispered. "It is my fault."  
Madison blinked in shock, amazed to hear him actually say it.   
Li kept his eyes shut. "I'm the one who said those things to her, who made her cry. I'm  
the one who made her run away, it's all my fault. I don't know why I said that to her, I  
didn't mean any of it at all. And what makes it worse is that she didn't argue or yell. She  
didn't even get mad...."  
The tears were rolling down as the whole truth poured out of him, his voice breaking at  
the end in suppressed sobs. Madison came closer and put her hand on his shoulder, her  
eyes sympathetic. "Sorry Li, I didn't mean to blame you like that." All traces of anger  
were gone.  
Li looked at her. "You were right anyway. She got hurt because of me," he said bitterly.  
"Li, you just got a little carried away last night, that's all." She studied him, then grabbed  
his arm, pulling him along with her. "Come on."  
  
  
Madison brought him to the hospital. As they rode the elevator to the 8th floor, Li turned  
away from her, looking at the wall. "Is she..will she be okay?"  
Madison glanced at him and smiled. "Yeah. The only real problem was last night, the  
doctors said that if she made it through the night, she'd be fine, and she did that no  
problem. Her dad and Tori are at work, they're gonna be back around 6 this evening." It  
was now 1 pm.  
When they got to the room, Li hesitated and hung back, as Madison thought of some-  
thing. "Wait here, I'll be right back," she told him, slipping into the room. A minute later,  
she came back, holding Kero, who was complaining about being taken away. When he  
saw Li, he was quiet for a moment, then nodded, realizing why Madison had pulled him  
out of the room. "Don't worry kid," Kero reassured Li. "It's not your fault."  
Li nodded slowly, obviously not believing the stuffed yellow bear.   
"You can go in now," said Madison, giving him a light push into the room and closing the  
door behind him. Kero sighed and looked at Madison. "You think he'll be okay?"  
Madison smiled at him, glancing at the door. "I think they'll both be okay," she answered.  
  
  
Li pushed himself away from the door after a few moments, and slowly made his way   
over to the bed, looking at the pale, tranquil figure lying there. She looked so peaceful,  
except for a bruise near her right temple. Still, Li's heart twisted as he watched her, and  
he felt the tears spring to his eyes again. He brushed a lock of hair away from her face,  
then took her hand. "Sakura..I'm so sorry," he whispered. He closed his eyes as he began  
crying again. It was the first time he'd cried so much in years.  
Sakura began to stir slightly as she slowly came to. Li jumped up. "Sakura? Can you hear  
me?"  
Sakura's eyes fluttered open. "Hey Li," she murmured weakly.  
Li's eyes shone with unshed tears. "You're awake," he said happily. She smiled up at him,  
slowly, with Li's help, sitting up against her bed pillows.  
"How are you feeling?" Li asked in concern.  
"I'm okay," she told him. "I heard the doctor say I had a few broken ribs, and I sprained  
my ankle and got a concussion, but I'm fine now."  
Li felt the tears slip down again, and he looked away. "I'm sorry, Sakura, I'm so sorry. This  
is my fault..."  
  
  
Sakura watched in amazement as Li started crying. For as long as she'd known him, she'd  
never once seen him cry.   
"Li..it was an accident, it wasn't your fault," she tried to tell him softly, but he was barely  
listening, glaring at her. Except in a much different way from the night before.  
"How can you forgive me?" he demanded bitterly. "I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. What  
if you had gotten...what if it'd been worse? I couldn't stand it..." his voice trailed off in a   
whisper.  
"I'd forgive you for almost anything, Li," Sakura responded, her jade-green eyes wide with  
concern and...something else, too. Li glanced into them, then turned his head away in  
deep guilt.   
"This shouldn't be one of those things," he told her. "It was my fault, we both know it. I know by the way you were crying last night, you couldn't have paid attention to where you were going...and I'm the one who made you cry."   
She placed a hand on his chest firmly, indicating for him to stop right where he was. He was silent, staring at her.  
"Li, that's enough," she told him. "Listen, it was not just your fault. I yelled at you too,  
remember? And I'm the one who ran right into the middle of the street. And also...I'm the  
one who took your comments too seriously." She gave him a hug, feeling really happy   
when she felt him hug her back.  
Li gazed at her. "Why didn't you get mad?" he asked quietly. She looked at him, once  
again getting trapped in his amber-coloured eyes.  
"I guess I've learned not to take anything mean you say seriously, which is why I'm sorry  
for doing it last night," she said softly. "I think you're the kind of person who doesn't  
like to show what he's feeling, so he covers it up. That's why I didn't get mad. I wanted  
to reach the real you." She paused, flushing slightly. "Does that make sense?"  
Li nodded slowly. "I didn't know I was so easy to read, though."  
Sakura smiled and hugged him closer, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Maybe it's  
because I just wanted to know you so bad, because...I love you." She said that last part  
as a whisper, but it didn't matter, since Li had heard every word. There was a second  
of silence, but it was only awkward for Sakura. Then Li tightened his grip on her, kissing  
her softly on the cheek. She felt unbelievably euphoric when he kissed her, and it only  
brought her higher when he whispered the words she'd waited for what seemed like  
forever to hear him say.  
"I love you too, Sakura."  
  
  
  
  
  
*dusts hands* And so there you have it, guys. My very first Cardcaptors/Card Captor  
Sakura fic. How do you think that was, for a first try? I have to say something though,  
I'm not sure if there is already a Rainbow Card, just had to point that out. Please review  
and tell me what you thought of this, ok? I LUV getting reviews ^_^ (just not flames   
^^*). If you want, you can email me too for comments, at starviewcom@hotmail.com,  
kk? I luv getting emails too =)   
  
  
  



End file.
